Weak

I feel weak, alone, betrayed. Why does life have to be like this? One moment everything is great, your best friends with your roommates and life seems like it’s actually going good for once. Guess I should have known that life doesn’t work like that.

I feel stood up to, lied to, played. I feel weak. I thought we were friends. But I guess not. No, it’s not the same person as last time, it’s my roommates. I thought we all were good friends but I guess it’s just like high school. People putting up a fake personality. A lot of you may be thinking that I’m overexaggerating or that I just want attention but, what I’m feeling is very real. It hurts. It hurts to see the people that I thought I could trust go behind my back. Sure, they’re not talking shit but, excluding people…

I feel at an all time low. Like a total piece of garbage that no one sees, I’m that one bubble on the piece of bubble wrap that didn’t get popped. That one bubble that is all alone, never seen by people. Invisible to everything around it. It’s one thing to exclude a person from things but then to post about it on social media, right where I can see it, that’s what hurts. When you see your “great” roommies having fun together on Snapchat and they didn’t even tell you where they were going when you asked. Yeah, that’s the part that hurts. It hurts like a dagger to the heart. It hurts knowing that these people I thought were my friends would do something like this. I feel weak, like I lost my voice. Like I’m past the point of return, like I really don’t have anyone to talk to now. No one to share my deepest secrets with, no one to gossip with, to tell stories with, to vent with, to just hang with, or to eat with. I’m all alone again. After I thought things would getter better, that I might just be able to find that close friend to tell them my secret that no one but you guys know. To admit to them what I haven’t even admitted to my parents yet. To trust them like I’ve never trusted anyone before. But I thought wrong, so incredibly wrong, so far from the truth of life.

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